The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
