Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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