Need sex. Gaining weight.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
