You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
