How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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