Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Too much gin, very little bucket
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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