i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
