We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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