I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
