As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
