She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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