Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
