Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
