i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
