it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
