Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
