Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
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