I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
did you just send me my own nude
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
