Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
