On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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