Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
