can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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