omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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