we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Randomize
