I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
