Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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