escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I want a musical about memes.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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