It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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