Just cropdusted the office
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
