Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
