she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
