you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
