I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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