I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
