My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
