So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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