I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
