i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
