you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize
