Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
