im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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