I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
