I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
