Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
