I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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