I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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