Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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