and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I still have a little drunk in my system
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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