I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
