dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
