turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
