You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
